Express Yourself (Leave Nothing Unsaid or Undone)

Transcript

You want to know why I value self-expression so much, above everything else ? Because when the time comes for me to leave this earth, I want to know that I shared all that I could share with the world and that I held nothing back. Nothing. That no part of me and no part of my gifts were left behind in the shadows and shackles of fear and regret.

Staying in alignment with this core value of mine that is self-expression, has not been easy for me, and it still isn’t easy for me, I wish it were, but I'm simply not there yet. Every time I'm about to share something with the world that I feel called to share, whether it’s another episode, a poem, something I wrote, a picture or video, whatever it is, I experience the fear. And even after I share whatever it is I have created with the world, I still experience anxiety and I think to myself “What the hell have I done ?”

And yet, despite how excruciatingly painful and unpleasant these experiences of sharing myself with the world can be for me, I still do it, because, because deep inside of me, there is a part of me, that refuses to stay silent. There is something inside of me that demands to be expressed. And this Self, that refuses to be silenced, or to hide in shame under the guise that it’s not good enough, not cool enough, not talented enough, or not worthy enough, or whatever other judgment this world might impose upon it, it doesn’t care about any of that. All it cares about is truth and the expression of that truth in that moment. And that is my truest self, my truest voice.

And it’s this self that compelled to want to know what my truth was, and not just stop at knowing it, but to speak it, to live it, to give it its fullest, richest and most embodied expression in the world. Because I am the only one responsible for bringing forth my truest expression of of myself, nobody can do it for me. And this is what I consider to be the essence of any Artist’s true task. To truly express oneself, whichever self seeks to be expressed in that moment, because we are many, not just one.

And it’s unfortunate from my perspective, that we live in a world where we are so afraid to share our truest self with the world.

There’s a quote by a wonderful writer and poet called Audre Lorde where she says:

“We have been socialized to respect fear more than our own needs for language and definition, and while we wait in silence for that final luxury of fearlessness, the weight of that silence will choke us.” — Audre Lorde, The Transformation of Silence Into Language And Action

You could easily replace the word language in that sentence for self-expression to say that, we have been socialized to respect fear more than our own need for self-expression. And it’s a tragedy that is true. Everyday we receive subtle and not so subtle messages about what is acceptable, what parts of us deserve to be shared and seen, and who deserves to be seen. And we internalize these messages.

There is so much online content today about the fear of being seen, so many people trying to help each other overcome the fear of being seen, and it’s almost disheartening. It’s disheartening to see that we live in a world that makes it so difficult, even dangerous at times, for us to truly express ourselves. But because I refuse to accept these conditions, because I refuse to live in such in a self-repressing world, I made the firm decision, that regardless of my own fears, regardless of the way in which I am perceived by others, whether favorable or unfavorable, whether they laugh or cheer, I am going to express myself, damn it, if it’s the last thing I do. You will hear me, and you will feel me, whether you want to or not. Because if I don’t this, if I allow my fears to win even for a second, I am then contributing by my actions towards perpetuating this kind of world that I do not want to live in.

The current world that we have right now, these old structures, this is not the world I want to live in, but if I want to create and live in the world that I long to experience, I need to show up for that world and I need to show up through my actions. I can’t pretend to be an advocate for a free world and yet at the same time repress my self-expression, and silence my voice. It doesn’t work that way.

And this is how you know that something is truly a core value of yours, it’s when you’re willing to put everything on the line for it. Because it matters that much to you. Well self-expression matters that much to me.

I wish I could say I express myself because I want to, but really it would be more accurate to say that I express myself because I must. I know of no other way of living, and any other way isn’t really living in my eyes.

I’m sure by now you’re all familiar with the quote:

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important.”

To anyone who might be wondering how to find the courage to do something you’re afraid of doing, this it it. This is how we find our courage. To ask ourselves, what really matters to me ? What am I willing to lay everything on the line for ? For what am I willing to fail ? For what am I willing to look ridiculous or “embarrassing” in other people’s eyes ? Because the perception of being embarrassing is simply another person’s opinion, it’s not a fact.

This value of self-expression that I hold so dear, is one that requires immense courage, and an abundance of it. The wonderful Maya Angelou, one my all time role models and heroes, once said something about courage that I never forgot. She said:

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can't practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.”

I remember when I first heard this, I immediately knew that this was a profound truth I was hearing, but it wasn’t until a few years had passed in my life, that the meaning and profoundity of this statement, really landed in my heart and transformed into wisdom, because now I understood it.

I understood it not just as an Artist understands creative courage but also as a Human Being who is relentlessly determined to remain true to who I am and to express the truth of who I am. And in a world that as the poet E.E Cummings put it “is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else.” and might I add, is doing its best day and night to make you quietly live your life, this is no small feat.

Creative courage, and the courage it takes to be oneself, are one and the same in my eyes. Any work of art that has deeply resonated with me, whether it be a poem, a painting, a song, or a film of what not, has resonated with me because I could feel that they emerged from deep within the Artist’s soul, that the Artist bared their heart and Soul for the world, and said here I am. This is me. Love it or hate it, take it or leave it.

And that’s an incredibly vulnerable and courageous act. For an Artist to bare their naked Soul and emotions to the world at the risk of being ripped apart takes courage. That is the same kind of courage that is involved in authentically being oneself in life, in all areas, everyday. To show up everyday in the world as our most authentic self is an incredibly vulnerable act, and yet profound in it’s impact, and brave because of the way the way we have been indoctrinated to shame ourselves and fear our voices, our uniqueness.

We have been indoctrinated to bend and shape ourselves out of form to conform to people and society’s expectations of us, and of how we should show up in the world. Which is why this decision, the act to remain relentlessly true to oneself and to unapologetically express that self, inadvertently becomes a powerful act of rebellion against the status quo of silencing oneself and at the same time a cure for this disease that we are so accustomed to, a disease that we don’t even realize is there and continues to silently poison our minds and our future.

We are a society, a world, that has grown accustomed to silence, and not of the positive sort, but the opposite. We have grown accustomed to silencing not only ourselves and our voices, but others as well, and isn’t unfortunate that sometimes it’s the people that are the closest to us that can do this to us ?

We ruthlessly rob each other of our voices, voices that need be heard. And here I refer not only to the physical instrument that is the voice, but also the voice as a manifestation, a metaphor of our unique essence and being, that only we can share.

We have voices for a reason. We are meant to speak, to sing, to express the fullness of being, of our voice, and leave nothing unsaid and undone.

And for me that is what a truly free and empowered individual looks like. A fully empowered and free individual is one who unapologetically expresses all aspects of themselves that they feel genuinely called to express, it is a soulful calling and impulse that they feel.

Whether that’s expressing their creativity in artistic formats, expressing themselves in their fashion style, expressing their sensuality and sexuality in a way that feels the most authentic and right to them, whatever it is, they honor that authentic impulse to self-express. An individual like this does not allow themselves under any circumstances to be constrained by social norms and by what is expected of them. They write the rules for their life and they live by their own rules, regardless of who understands them and who doesn’t, and regardless of who likes them and who doesn’t, because they understand that that was never the point to begin with. The point is not to be liked, to point is to self-express.

I know in my own journey one of the fears that I had to overcome was the fear of being misunderstood, which is a fear that many people share. I know the pain that comes form being consistently and severely misunderstood and misrepresented by the people that you love the most, the people that are supposed to love you, ride for you, see you and understand you. It hurts like hell.

But let me tell you what I've learned in all of this.

People are going to think whatever they want to think of you, regardless of what you do or don’t do. People have already written your story, they’ve already run with a story in their minds about who you are, so you might as well show them the truth of who you actually are, unapologetically.

Yes you will be judged for doing this, this will happen. Because our authenticity is not a power that will be received with ease by all, it will trigger people, and those people who are the most wounded, the most judgmental, the most self-hating and the most lacking in self-awareness, they will judge you, and they will project all of their shit and shadow onto you. But listen here, even if you did conform to who they wanted you to be, even if you did twist and bend yourself of shape to appease them, they would still not be happy with you, and even worse they’ll lose respect for you now. At least when you’re being true to who you are, people might like you, but they damn for sure will respect you, because in their Soul they recognize the strength of character and the resolve that it takes to remain consistently true to one Self.

So let them judge you, let them, but at least them the judge the real you. Let them misunderstand you, but at least let them see the real you, even if they don’t understand it. Let them think absurdities about you, let them gossip about you and spread lies about you, let them do whatever they damn well please. It’s their life, if they chose to waste away their life in that way, so be it. Do you realize that most people don’t even know themselves, so why would you hold their opinion of you in higher esteem than your own opinion of self. At the end of the day you know who you are, so don’t let their opinion of you become your truth.

Many believe that their opinions of you are actually facts, and that you need to agree with their opinion of you. This is when you have to remind them and probably yourself that, hey listen, what you have is called an opinion not a fact, and your opinion may or may not be based in the truth, sometimes it will be, and sometimes, in a lot of cases it won’t.

The reason that many people confuse the truth about someone with their own opinions about that person, is because many of them lack the self awareness needed to recognize that their judgments of others, what they say about other people, what they think about other people, is in the majority of cases, a projection of themselves, for better or for worse, and it reveals far more about them than it does the other person.

And you have to remember that. You have to know yourself so well, and have that kind of strength of character, otherwise you will buckle under other people’s judgments and projections.

So that’s the first thing regarding overcoming this fear of being misunderstood, the second thing to understand, is that we all only understand something and someone from the level of consciousness that we’re coming from, that we’re operating from, and we’re not all on the same level of consciousness here on the planet. So what this means is that no matter how clearly you explain yourself, or phrase things, some people will always misunderstand you, they just won’t get you, no matter you do. Your words and explanations will fall on deaf ears.

And not only that, but if someone truly wants to understand you, they will at some point make the effort, but not everyone wants to make that effort. Not everyone wants to understand you, some are more comfortable with this story they have about you in their heads, and they don’t wish to relinquish that story of who you are for anything.

You know it’s one thing to not have the capacity to understand someone or something, it’s another thing to not want to understand someone and on top of that to be committed to continuously misunderstanding them.

At the end of the day, you are responsible for your intentions, your actions and how clearly you can convey your message, that’s it, but you cannot control how that message is received by others, so let go of the attachment to how people are going to receive it, and let go of trying to control how people receive your message and who you are. If they get it, they get it. If they don’t, oh well, someone else will.

The people who are truly meant for you, your Soul friends, your Soul tribe, they will understand you, and you won’t have to explain a thing, they will just get you. And that’s how you can tell who is really meant for you, and who isn’t.

This is something that I told myself in my journey at some point, that you know what, I might not belong to any group, any tribe, community or family yet, but I can belong to myself, and I can let that be enough for now, as I wait for my Soul family.

So all this to say, don’t explain yourself my love. Now if you feel genuinely called to, and this is a Soul impulse you feel, to explain something about your actions, then honor that, I'm not going to say that never happens, because that can happen, but in a lot of cases this desire to want to explain ourselves stems from wounded aspects of ourselves, inner child aspects of ourselves, that were never understood by the people closest to them. So instead of investing all of your time and energy in trying to get that one person to understand you, use this opportunity to go within, and give that wounded aspects of yourself compassion and love. See them, understand them, give them the understanding that they never got as children. That is incredibly healing to do.

And you know what’s even more healing ? Self-expression. To actually express this authentic self that was denied expression as a child, and not just express it, but love it. In this way we show up for ourselves, and we let ourselves know through our actions, that who we are matters. That our voice matters. That our most authentic self deserves to be seen, experienced and felt by people. I’m telling you right now that it does, and anyone who tells you otherwise or makes you feel otherwise in any way shape or form is lying to you.

You have a place in this world, as you are right now. Know your place in this world, and then take it up, with full confidence that you deserve to be there, at that seat, because you do.

Don’t let your life and your uniqueness go unexpressed. Can you imagine if the gorgeous peacock, hid in the shadows out of fear of people judging it ? What a tragedy that would be, that the world would never get to experience such uniqueness, such beauty that is the peacock. The peacock is truly one of a kind, there is no other creature that looks like it, and that’s what makes it even more beautiful. The fact that it is one of one. And we are the same way, we all have a specific soul essence, a uniqueness that is meant to be expressed and seen. Who you are is a sacred expression of the Divine, of God Goddess, the same way that a peacock or a panther or any other being is a sacred expression of the Divine, you are no different. Do you really think you were born to hide yourself ? You weren’t, none of us were. It’s a very unnatural thing to do you know, to stifle one’s self-expression, and yet many do it everyday, because it’s what we’ve been taught to do. This world functions on some very abnormal and dysfunctional ways of being that are not natural to us, and that harm us in more ways that one.

There are many things we have been taught, that we just accept as the truth, as this is how things are and this is how things we should be, and we need to unlearn those things.

Our life demands expression. Our uniqueness is a force, a power that demands to be shared and expressed, otherwise for lack of expression it will rip apart the owner in whom it is contained, because it is not supposed to be contained, it is a wild river that is supposed to run free and wild, and not be controlled and told how to look, how to think, or how to show up or express itself.

And that’s why by the way the feminine really scares many people, including men, because the feminine is this embodiment of freedom, of free flow, of authenticity, of just flowing with whatever you feel intuitively called to do at every moment, which may or may not fit within the socially accepted norms of what you should be doing, but that is precisely why it is so powerful. Because cannot be predicted and it can’t be controlled, it’s an uncontrollable force. Wild, free, extraordinarily creative, sensual, and unapologetic. The energy of the divine feminine is one that unapologetically enjoys herself, her body and her self-expression. She is constantly basking and relishing in the joy of who she is and what she has to share, because why the hell would she not ?

See many of us have been taught to be ashamed and feel guilty and embarrassed for just who we are, and that is just one of many tactics used to keep us small and disempowered.

You’re telling me I'm not something supposed to bask in the uniqueness of who I am, are you kidding me ? I don’t know what world you’re living in, but that’s not the world that I live in.

In my world, and in my conception of Heaven on Earth, which is possible to achieve by the way, everyone is being their most authentic and powerful self, constantly and freely expressing that Self every day in every way they feel called to do. Because you can’t have Heaven without freedom, that’s called Hell.

And as I said in my series on authenticity, authenticity goes hand in hand with freedom, it is a form of freedom, and in my eyes it’s one of the highest and rarest forms of freedom there is, because it’s the freedom to be who we are, fully and unapologetically.

When people are in this state of freedom, this state of soulful expression of themselves and their lives, they are naturally happier, healthier and more fulfilled. And that’s what heaven is, heaven here on earth, is authentic soulful expression of oneself, which involves embodying our Higher Selves, our Divinity, that is what will manifest heaven on earth, this is what will manifest consistent peace, joy, fulfillment, abundant creativity, and so much more that we can’t even possibly conceive of yet. There are levels of joy, peace and bliss that we haven’t even yet begun to scratch yet. And just because our human experiences have for the most part been characterized by trauma, suffering and tragedies, it doesn’t mean it always has to be this way, or that this is what it means to be human, it just means that that’s how things have been thus far, that’s it.

And maybe that’s the case for you, maybe you’ve been in the habit, your whole life, of living a lie, of hiding, denying and repressing your authentic self, for whatever reason, but it doesn’t have to keep being that way. You can make a different choice, no matter how scary, you can make a different choice. And I'll leave you here with a quote from a film that I really enjoy called ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’, to which I'll link the video extract in the show notes below:

"For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”

Uploaded on November 8, 2024