Thursday, January 15th, 2026
My dearest beloveds,
I hope you have all been unfolding more fully into yourselves and the work your Soul came here to do, as I have been with my own path. In my devotion to myself, to my healing and to my spiritual growth, I have come to realize something rather troubling about us humans, as we now stand.
The fulfillment of our Soulās mission depends entirely upon authenticity, upon how honest we are willing to be about who we are, because we are the mission. And somehow, we seem to have forgotten this. You know, somehow many forget that the romantic partner that theyāve been longing for, praying for and hoping for, for so long, that love of my life who will finally love me the way Iāve always wanted to be loved, is them.
And that mission ? That great calling you seek that will give you that sense of unfathomable purpose that you have been searching for your whole life ? Well that is also, you. It is you in your most honest, bravest and fullest expression.
There is no other or greater purpose beyond the honest expression of who and what we truly are.
But what happens when you have a species whose habitual stance is apologetic ?
The more I observe, the more I see that some lives seem to unfold as one continuous, and silent, but no less deafening apology for who they are.
And Iām not talking about saying sorry for the genuine hurt and damage you caused another, I am talking that other kind of sorry we have been taught to say. And this is a sorry we donāt even have to vocalize, itās an attitude, a stance that we have internalized without knowing it.
Itās the kind of sorry we say when weāre alone playing our favorite kind of music, volume turned all the way up, and then we hear someone approaching, and in that moment we want to turn our favorite music either all the way down, or lower it just a little bit, cause we donāt want them to hear the kind of music we play and have them judge us for it as they once did.
Or, it can be the kind of sorry we say, when weāre having such a good time, when our joy is at its fullest, its loudest and its most radiant, and all we want to do is laugh at full volume, but instead we find ourselves laughing a little quieter, and a little softer, all so that we donāt bother that person, who for some reason always seems so inconvenienced by our joy, or by anything we do or donāt do for that matter.
Or finally, it can be the kind of sorry we say, when we want to put on our high heels, but then we donāt, because we are already impossibly and strikingly tall ā and Iām talking supermodel tall here. But also, because weāve seen how our gorgeous height makes some people feel small, both literally and figuratively. So, we put away those high heels we love so much, and we try to take up less space, both literally and figuratively, and we spend our days secretly wishing we didnāt stand out so much. Secretly wishing we were other than what we are, smaller than what we really are, so we didnāt have to feel everyoneās discomfort about who we are, and feel yet again, so profoundly unaccepted.
The examples Iāve just given you, are all examples from my own life, things that I have lived, and there are so many more examples I could give you, both from my own life and that of others, about all the subtle ways we apologize for being who we are.
In those small but defining moments when we say to ourselves, āWell, itās just a little bit. Whatās the harm ? Iām only lowering my music a little bit. Iām only dimming my laughter a little bit. Iām only dressing a little less like me.ā We lie to ourselves and say itās only a little, but itās never only a little. A small betrayal is still a betrayal, no matter how you quantify it.
Because donāt think for even a second, that how you show up in this one area of your life that you dismiss as being small, is not also how you show up every day of your life, because it is. Because everything is connected, and that is simply a truth that we are going to have to not only understand but accept as Souls who are here to create a New Earth.
No more believing in fragmentation, in separation, or believing that anything anywhere happens in isolation. We like to think that the choices we make in one area of our lives, stand alone, isolated, and neatly contained in a little box that we like to throw away and never look at again, but that is not the truth of reality. Because choices have consequences, they have an effect on you and on the entire fabric of reality, and so, to say that you can make a choice that is self-contained, is to say that you can dictate and limit exactly how far and how wide your choices and their effects ripple and travel, and that is honestly an absurd fantasy.
A comforting fantasy to some I suppose, but still only a fantasy.
And so, a choice to lower your music out of fear of judgment, or to laugh a little less loudly to be more convenient, or to change the way you dress so as to not be seen so much, is never just a choice to dim your music or your laughter or your fashion, it is a choice you are making to literally diminish who you are.
Because that is what we are really saying sorry for.
In all of our sorryās, spoken and unspoken, we are saying sorry for our existence.
Sorry for my taste in music ! Sorry for opening my mouth and sharing what I know and what I feel to be true ! Sorry for needing what I need and making it known to you what it is I need ! Sorry for the way I laugh ! Sorry for how wild and how free and how great in size I am ! Sorry for how gifted I am, and sorry for daring to want a little too much ! āCause God forbid I want more for myself than what you or this world say I am allowed or worthy of having.
Sorry for being what I am.
Cause thatās what weāre really saying sorry for ā sorry for who and what I am.
Because to be sorry that I exist is to be sorry for who I am, since there is no separation between the two. Because there is no way for me to live this life, as anything other than myself. Donāt you get it ? There is no life available to me outside of who and what I truly am. Because this thing that you call life and that you call me, we are one and the same. Because ālifeā is not something happening to me from the outside. Life is what I am, what moves me and what I make of it, with all of my needs, my dreams, my joys, passions and emotions.
But, it would seem that for some, living means merely going through the bodily motions ā the bare minimum of sleeping, eating, dispensing waste, and keeping the body alive through whatever means possible, and calling that a life.
But that, is a very generous word to use on what is, in the end, a very ungenerous existence.
And I want to be generous with my existence, generous with who I am and what I have to give, which is only ever, myself. I will not be one of those stingy people, those misers of the Soul, who move through the world handing out only a pathetically meager portion of themselves, their love, their gifts, talents and joys to others.
I will not be stingy with my existence.
I will live greatly,
I will love greatly
I will give greatly,
And in the act of offering myself, greatly, again and again,
I will grow ever more into my magnificent greatness.
Because beneath it all, thatās what this is all really about. It isnāt really about the noise, or the volume, or the ātoo muchnessā of our laughter, our height, or our gifts, it is about people not knowing what to do with themselves when we embody the vastness and the greatness of who we are.
Am I wrong ?
When someone truly embodies the vastness and the greatness of who they are, they will become a living, breathing provocation to the small person who has settled for less than they are. And what was once deeply buried in the psyche, now rises up thanks to this great individual who has triggered in them their repressed anger for having betrayed their own Soul, along with their envy and jealousy that they disguise as the all to known accusation of, āWho do you think you are?ā
These are all feelings that a small and immature self would rather not face, because they donāt know how to yet, and because it makes them feel deeply uncomfortable, because self-betrayal is never comfortable, nor should it ever be. And so they just donāt know what to do with themselves and all these painful emotions they feel. So they bury it, and then they try to diminish you so that your light wonāt keep illuminating in them what they are not yet ready or willing to face.
They hope that you will become less of yourself, so that they wonāt have to feel so small in your presence all the time.
Because when you ask me to turn down the music, are you not asking me to be smaller ? When you ask me to be quiet and not share what is on my heart and on my mind to share, are you not asking me to make myself smaller, again ? When you ask me to not be as tall as I am, when you ask me to be anything less than the magnificence of my Soul, are you not, again, asking me to make myself smaller, and smaller and smaller, until I am ultimately nothing ?
Because this is what we are really saying sorry for, is it not ? This is the guilt we feel, that we incessantly and nauseatingly apologize for, a guilt that says I am sorry for being what I am ! We are taught to say sorry, because we live in a world that would rather we be only a small amount of who we are, and preferably quietly and preferably in the corner over there where nobody can see you or hear you.
Oh, am I finally just right for you now, world ? Now that Iāve turned it all down ? Turned down my emotions, my needs, my passions and my dreams that you can barely hear me or see me ? Oh good ! Iām glad. It only cost me everything I am.
Great, in the simplest terms, simply means to be large in amount, size or degree. And how many people allow themselves to be great ? How many people allow themselves to express themselves greatly ? To love themselves and others, greatly ? To dare to believe in something greatly ? To feel, to live and to dream greatly ? In other words, how many people allow themselves to be fully themselves ? In their greatest measure and their greatest amount ?
I would say, not many.
If we truly allowed ourselves to embody all that we are, we would be great ā and especially great in the impact we have on others, and I think thatās what a part of us is afraid of, of the great impact we can have on others, for good and for bad.
But I will not be half of myself, not even a third or a quarter ā I will be all of myself, or I will be nothing at all. I will not live my life in the shadow of two choices, never daring to claim either one, either a life of smallness, or a life of greatness. I have made my choice, a long time ago, and I have decided that I will be great, or I will be, nothing at all.
Either I will love greatly, or I will not love at all.
Either I will feel greatly as I have been ridiculed for, or I will not feel at all.
And either I will live with a wild and radiant abandon, or I will not live at all.
Because what is the point of being lukewarm, of a life half lived ? What is the point of a life lived in the shadows of two choices ? That is not a life, it is an existence on hold, forever waiting for the moment it can finally begin.
And that is not something I choose for myself, and it is not the life that I want for you my people, my darlings and my dearest beloveds. I want you to be great, because we are here to propel human civilization beyond anything it has ever known, and only greatness is capable of such a feat.
And not only do I want you to be great, but I want you to be cozy. When we think of comfort we often only think about cushions, and clothes, and soft fabrics and beautiful spaces, but we rarely think about that word as it applies to who we are.
You are meant to be a home to yourself ā the coziest, most comfortable and most beautiful home youāve ever seen. And what this means is that you deserve to be comfortable with who you are, with how you look, with your emotions, with your shadow, your light, your taste, and comfortable in everything that makes you, you. Because you deserve to love all that you are, and revel and indulge in all that you are, unapologetically.
That is what it means to be a home to yourself.
It means you are intimately acquainted with your home ā with every room, every corridor, and every which area. It means nothing is off limits to you, no space is too taboo or too shameful for you to explore, and no aspect of this house is forbidden from entry. And it means, that you have explored every area of this home so thoroughly and so completely, that you now know it, and you know it so well that you know exactly what it needs, you know exactly how to tend to it, and you know exactly how to beautify it to make it the best damn home anyoneās ever laid foot in.
Because you are supposed to be a home to yourself and to be comfortable in this home. That is, if you want to thrive and achieve your highest potential, because your highest potential is you ā you at your best, at your brightest and at your coziest.
And speaking of homes, Iāve never once met the neighbors that I share my floor with, but I hear them occasionally, as they hear me, quite often I might add. And when I was in the shower the other day, with my music turned all the way up and me belting my heart out to it, I was thinking about my presence and about the impact that we have on each other, though we may never even see one another.
āCause think about it, I exist to them only as a sound, as I do for all of you here. I exist to you only as a sound, as a voice in your head or in your space, and yet how powerful just a voice, just a sound can be. And by voice I donāt just mean the sounds you make with your mouth and your body, Iām talking about something a little deeper than that. Iām talking about the voice as a metaphor for the essence of who we are. A voice as the sound of who you are, as the sound of a life lived, or not.
And then I thought of this story, a story about the kind of impact I hope my voice has had on my neighbors, and I wanted to share it with you all.
So here it goes,
There once was a bitch, a sexy bitch who lived on my floor, and I never saw her, so you may wonder, how do I know she was sexy ? The voice. Mon Dieu, that voice ! And though I never met her, I didnāt need to ā her presence was so large, that I felt her. And though she never introduced herself to me, she didnāt have to tell you who she was, she showed you.
You could tell she was a singer by the way she gave herself to every note she sang. It was as if every time she sang, her joy was complete.
And you could tell that she had a passionate and eclectic love for music, by the endless stream of different sounds coming from her place, day in and day out, and often, at odd hours of the night.
And then there were her painful cries that you could hear on occasion, and those cries told you that she allowed herself the freedom to feel deeply, without shame.
And then there were those moans ! Mon Dieu, those delightful moans of pleasure that reached my ears, and that told me that she did not fear desire, nor was she ashamed to express the sound of pleasure ā the sound of a desire fulfilled.
And when she laughed, oh God. She had one of those laughs that made you smile and made you want to laugh with her. And that laugh told you that was she cute, she was cool and she was playful.
There is a lot more I could say about her, but what I remember most is how I felt in her presence, and how I felt was free ā dangerously and outrageously free. And I guess thatās because she was so free. She had that kind of freedom that is infectious, the kind of freedom that makes you dream, and that makes you wonder who you could be and what you could do, if you too allowed yourself that kind of freedom.
So hereās to the sexy bitch who made this floor her stage. May your voice continue to thunder through the walls of my heart as they have through these walls, forever reminding me that a life is only lived if it is lived freely as yourself, and that only such a life is worthy of being called, a life.
So remember, apologies are for those whoāve cause real harm and real damage, and unless thatās you, I would say that the crime you are being charged with, for which they seek an apology for, is the crime of being the baddest bitch of all, all genders and nonbinary people included, and in that case, I would hope your answer to be,
Sorry ? Bitch for what ?!
You want me to say sorry for this ? That just aināt fair.
Alright, until next time. Iām sending you all my sweetest goodbyes,
Yours only,
Yours completely,
š
P.S: Happy New Year !